When you realise that changing yourself is not actually outright change but growth. A relationship takes two people, committed to each other. Each one is to conform and compromise. Real relationships are about both adopting to each other, when this takes place a marked improvement
is noticed in your relationship.
There are always a assumptions or thoughts which you know, which is found to be wrong. You need to be open to new ideas and new concepts in being.
In order for things to improve, you are required to go into them with an open mind; a mind that accepts diversity and change; a mind that seeks opportunity to evolve and realise the potential. Succumbing to change is never a weakness, it is a powerful strength. This strength proves
that you are in for the long haul and truly care for your partner, lover, friend and mate. In turn they will have the same devotional goal.
Acknowledge that you cannot and will not change your partner, lover, friend or mate. They evolve and grow with you. Our brain and emotions are dynamic, constantly changing and shaped by our experiences, our thoughts and our environment.
Mindfulness is a way to control, and ultimately rewire our reactions to all three of these things.
Why is that?
Because we are disconnecting from the automatic involvement in the moment and observing it ‘objectively’.
Doing so takes our life off autopilot and allows us to decide instead how we would like it to be, effectively allowing us to set up new neural pathways and emotional patterns. Our brain and emotions are dynamic, constantly changing and shaped by our experiences, our thoughts and our environment.
Mindfulness is a way to control, and ultimately rewire our reactions to all three of these things.
Why is that? Because we are disconnecting from the automatic involvement in the moment and observing it ‘objectively’. Doing so takes our life off autopilot and allows us to decide instead how we would like it to be, effectively allowing us to set up new neural pathways and emotional patterns.
The one thing that has driven men mad is the fact that women tend to gets to know them, develop feelings for them, date them, and committee to them, only to try to change them. And this is where women and men go wrong.
You cannot make a man do certain things nor can you make him following certain habits. All you can do however is to communicate your views, wishes and desires and hope for the best. You also cannot control the thoughts that go through his head, regardless of how determined you are. Do however make requests of him. Do not fall into the category of a manipulator.
There is a warning: There are exceptions to every rule. There are men and women out there who are simple genuine jerks, flakes, wankers, who want to make your life hell. There are men who will forever trapped in their childlike and / or stubborn ways, refusing to expand and grow or even
acknowledge growth.
Women as a whole tend to be more emotional and thoughtful. This drives you insane from over thinking and getting nowhere.
How many times have you tried to pour your heart out to your man, only to have him immediately get defensive and act as if you have accused him of something or rather? He then accuses you of overthinking, over analysing and / or living in the past.
He basically informs you to build a bridge and get over it, and then less-than-respectfully you get a grip?
I know the answer is ‘yes’
The resentment is the result for you as the bridge is built and crossing it countless of times, only for you to realise that every time you cross it, you never left. Causing you, by the build-up of negative
feelings towards that person. You start to develop “why bother” attitude whether you realise it or not.
You have officially developed a state of mind called, NEGATIVE EMOTIONAL OVERLOAD.
No it is not personified version of a computer virus.
It is when your build-up of anger, frustrations and the pain dealing with your man starts to override any and all pleasant thoughts about him. Leaving things uncompleted and undone.
Once this occurs, you lash out for what seems to be no reason, when actually there are real reasons. You become the one who has the problem. Alternatively you may put up an emotional road block, no longer letting him in. You may find yourself becoming mentally unbalanced. You become emotionally distant. He will lose interest and leave, not caring of the mess he has placed you in.
And his attitude “I don’t know what went wrong” :she is the crazy one” .
Men and women are different. This makes neither right nor wrong – just different. You simply have to embrace that fact. You are two different people. It is that the two of you choose to do with those differences that really matters. You both need to acknowledge and accept those differences
for what they are.
When we become familiar with each other we both begin to expect certain behaviours from one and other. When we do not get what we expect, we in the beginning to see annoyances, even the smallest one.. We expect someone to act in the way we deem normal.
Over time, we give focus on these differences and quirks, some people seize on them and the relationships start to be in jeopardy, others accept them for who they are and build from those, these relationships succeed, expand and grow.
Men hurt. Men can crumble inside and face the greatest adversities with fear and dread, if he dares to show it on the outside, he risks his reputation and his standing in the society and community as a whole.
Rather than risk this, many men simply block things out and shut their emotions down.
Example: What happens when a little girl cries?
Hearts break and people rush to their aid, by scooping them up and cuddling them, reassuring them.
What happens when a little boy cries?
More often that you realise, they are told to grow up, man up, or walk it off.
From an very early age, our emotions are stifled and taught to us. Can you see how these may create some adverse and relationship – affecting traits?
Many men will simply err on the side of caution and not show any emotions at all. Women become very emotional and always feeling things.
Men, when they had a heated argument usually tries to act as if nothing much has happened and goes to work or about their business or pleasure. It is either that or he stays angry. Which can build up like a pressure cooker. When they approach their family or friends for support, they are heckled and jeered upon.
Women generally want to pull their hair out, have a dam good cry, and possibly even contact their friends or family for a support system.
Conflict generally weighs more on the woman and stick with them longer. Does this make them weak? Hell NO! Not one iota. Try to imagine a man doing that!
The key is a delicate balance of emotional strength and real, human, honest to goodness release. When, Where, How? Herein lies the problem men face every single day.
Women claim that they want a man who is not afraid to show emotion, but many women often shudder when they actually see those things in a man.
Many women believe men are emotionless, unfeeling beings. This is far from the real truth. Men can feel and experience just as much fear and uneasiness as any woman. They can feel heart-wrenching loneliness just as often. The difference is that they were not raised to show that part of them openly. Doing so sends them back to the days of childhood and running to the parent to doctor them. More often the men were not geared to be the ones doing the comforting, not the ones needing to be comforted. Generations of men have been raised and wired this way. They simply cannot help it.
There are absolutely exceptions, the problem lies in trying to be one of the exceptions without being judged or seen as less of a man. It feels like a “can’t win” situation, regardless of which they choose.
Do men become the man we deserve and long for or, do the men what is expected by the majority? The answer is not cut and dry as you might think.
Written 2004
is noticed in your relationship.
There are always a assumptions or thoughts which you know, which is found to be wrong. You need to be open to new ideas and new concepts in being.
In order for things to improve, you are required to go into them with an open mind; a mind that accepts diversity and change; a mind that seeks opportunity to evolve and realise the potential. Succumbing to change is never a weakness, it is a powerful strength. This strength proves
that you are in for the long haul and truly care for your partner, lover, friend and mate. In turn they will have the same devotional goal.
Acknowledge that you cannot and will not change your partner, lover, friend or mate. They evolve and grow with you. Our brain and emotions are dynamic, constantly changing and shaped by our experiences, our thoughts and our environment.
Mindfulness is a way to control, and ultimately rewire our reactions to all three of these things.
Why is that?
Because we are disconnecting from the automatic involvement in the moment and observing it ‘objectively’.
Doing so takes our life off autopilot and allows us to decide instead how we would like it to be, effectively allowing us to set up new neural pathways and emotional patterns. Our brain and emotions are dynamic, constantly changing and shaped by our experiences, our thoughts and our environment.
Mindfulness is a way to control, and ultimately rewire our reactions to all three of these things.
Why is that? Because we are disconnecting from the automatic involvement in the moment and observing it ‘objectively’. Doing so takes our life off autopilot and allows us to decide instead how we would like it to be, effectively allowing us to set up new neural pathways and emotional patterns.
The one thing that has driven men mad is the fact that women tend to gets to know them, develop feelings for them, date them, and committee to them, only to try to change them. And this is where women and men go wrong.
You cannot make a man do certain things nor can you make him following certain habits. All you can do however is to communicate your views, wishes and desires and hope for the best. You also cannot control the thoughts that go through his head, regardless of how determined you are. Do however make requests of him. Do not fall into the category of a manipulator.
There is a warning: There are exceptions to every rule. There are men and women out there who are simple genuine jerks, flakes, wankers, who want to make your life hell. There are men who will forever trapped in their childlike and / or stubborn ways, refusing to expand and grow or even
acknowledge growth.
Women as a whole tend to be more emotional and thoughtful. This drives you insane from over thinking and getting nowhere.
How many times have you tried to pour your heart out to your man, only to have him immediately get defensive and act as if you have accused him of something or rather? He then accuses you of overthinking, over analysing and / or living in the past.
He basically informs you to build a bridge and get over it, and then less-than-respectfully you get a grip?
I know the answer is ‘yes’
The resentment is the result for you as the bridge is built and crossing it countless of times, only for you to realise that every time you cross it, you never left. Causing you, by the build-up of negative
feelings towards that person. You start to develop “why bother” attitude whether you realise it or not.
You have officially developed a state of mind called, NEGATIVE EMOTIONAL OVERLOAD.
No it is not personified version of a computer virus.
It is when your build-up of anger, frustrations and the pain dealing with your man starts to override any and all pleasant thoughts about him. Leaving things uncompleted and undone.
Once this occurs, you lash out for what seems to be no reason, when actually there are real reasons. You become the one who has the problem. Alternatively you may put up an emotional road block, no longer letting him in. You may find yourself becoming mentally unbalanced. You become emotionally distant. He will lose interest and leave, not caring of the mess he has placed you in.
And his attitude “I don’t know what went wrong” :she is the crazy one” .
Men and women are different. This makes neither right nor wrong – just different. You simply have to embrace that fact. You are two different people. It is that the two of you choose to do with those differences that really matters. You both need to acknowledge and accept those differences
for what they are.
When we become familiar with each other we both begin to expect certain behaviours from one and other. When we do not get what we expect, we in the beginning to see annoyances, even the smallest one.. We expect someone to act in the way we deem normal.
Over time, we give focus on these differences and quirks, some people seize on them and the relationships start to be in jeopardy, others accept them for who they are and build from those, these relationships succeed, expand and grow.
Men hurt. Men can crumble inside and face the greatest adversities with fear and dread, if he dares to show it on the outside, he risks his reputation and his standing in the society and community as a whole.
Rather than risk this, many men simply block things out and shut their emotions down.
Example: What happens when a little girl cries?
Hearts break and people rush to their aid, by scooping them up and cuddling them, reassuring them.
What happens when a little boy cries?
More often that you realise, they are told to grow up, man up, or walk it off.
From an very early age, our emotions are stifled and taught to us. Can you see how these may create some adverse and relationship – affecting traits?
Many men will simply err on the side of caution and not show any emotions at all. Women become very emotional and always feeling things.
Men, when they had a heated argument usually tries to act as if nothing much has happened and goes to work or about their business or pleasure. It is either that or he stays angry. Which can build up like a pressure cooker. When they approach their family or friends for support, they are heckled and jeered upon.
Women generally want to pull their hair out, have a dam good cry, and possibly even contact their friends or family for a support system.
Conflict generally weighs more on the woman and stick with them longer. Does this make them weak? Hell NO! Not one iota. Try to imagine a man doing that!
The key is a delicate balance of emotional strength and real, human, honest to goodness release. When, Where, How? Herein lies the problem men face every single day.
Women claim that they want a man who is not afraid to show emotion, but many women often shudder when they actually see those things in a man.
Many women believe men are emotionless, unfeeling beings. This is far from the real truth. Men can feel and experience just as much fear and uneasiness as any woman. They can feel heart-wrenching loneliness just as often. The difference is that they were not raised to show that part of them openly. Doing so sends them back to the days of childhood and running to the parent to doctor them. More often the men were not geared to be the ones doing the comforting, not the ones needing to be comforted. Generations of men have been raised and wired this way. They simply cannot help it.
There are absolutely exceptions, the problem lies in trying to be one of the exceptions without being judged or seen as less of a man. It feels like a “can’t win” situation, regardless of which they choose.
Do men become the man we deserve and long for or, do the men what is expected by the majority? The answer is not cut and dry as you might think.
Written 2004
