My PArt History in Life.

Human beings are deeply trusting. While many of us soon learn to develop suspicions and misgivings, our natural immediate inclination is to believe what we are informed, regardless of who is telling us. This is what makes us venerable. It is also what makes us grateful, wonderful beings, inspirational, and extraordinary. We live in a compiles, clever society.

A few of the older ones stop trusting and believing and this is where we stop experiencing life. We may have many good reasons, to question the information that we are given, there is still place for benefit of doubt on that level. Do not give up trusting as the person who you decide not to trust maybe the innocent one who ends up the loyalist friend you will ever have and to have them in your life is an experience you don't want to miss.

We could choose to create a long list of all the things we are unable to do..
we could begin what ever our current circumstances prohibit us from doing...add to the activities we have never been able to participate in and then .......you know what?

I am tired of this exercise already, arn't you?What is the point? It is not just futile, it is counterproductive.

You/ We should and can be looking instead at what is possible...

This list is so much more, longer and it is worth giving our time to as it is really serious consideration and it gives you a happier outlook on what you have achieved and what is achievable with us...

To think too much can cloud the real organ and that is the heart.. that pumps life into us beings and show you more than the mind can ever know..

Interesting thoughts...
Then again, you are the only person who can choose their way of life.. just make sure you have all the points and all the views before you judge another as you could be judging yourself.. Can you judge another when you cannot judge yourself, Really?

Do you also know that when you give your time to others without payment ..in the eye of the law you are worthless as you are not earning an income...Fascinating that this has happened..
Specially when everyone is calling for volunteers...

What else is there to be written? Love, Trust, caring, compassion, belief, your responsibility, your word and your integrity is always being judged within the first 2 seconds of introduction.. Why do people judge covers and never bother to know what is inside.. A business man could be a child rapist and the old turn person, could be the one to trust first...the well dressed man looks trusting and well off... then maybe not...see what is there and know what is on the inside..

I trusted and I still do and I know I am vulnerable, but I believe in people, their talents, their being, their love and them selves, not what the outside looks like.. There are always rough diamonds and there are always false diamonds who look like diamonds but are not..then again you have to choose who you like or not.. just thoughts of someone who knows nothing about your lives but everything about mine..

My father tried to kill me at the age of 8 years old.. then a man stepped in front of me to protect me and he ended up being stabbed on my behalf.. he died.. truth is there.(He did try to do that on many occasions, try to end my life as well as my mothers, he was not himself when that happened, even scary as it was, I Loved him).
My father was in WWII and saw many things and sometimes when he was angry or drunk... he would have flash backs...I knew this..

I cannot take back what he did but I understand where he came from... he knew many Hollywood stars and they were great friends with bonds which are never broken... And with all the knowing and the pain which came with my father, I LOVED him for who he was.. Even in danger to myself, I cared and loved him... many thought I should not.. but you see it is when people are in need, it is when you should be there for them, no matter what because I was his daughter and I Really Loved him and could not assist him through his pain, but be there when he wanted me.. Same thing with my mother.. I LOVED THEM AND I Took the time to understand them even when I was a child..

Sharing this with you seems pointless unless I believed it would assist you to expand and understand..
the only time I had great hatred in my heart was when My Niece was murdered...And the man who did this hung himself in Campbelltown Court house Jail.. in 1988 October..
I have seen now that he was ill, on drugs and two personalities.. bipolar and his mother was found as the cause of it through the glebe court.. There is so much more and in-depth to all these things. Yes. Real life is interesting.. and surreal. There is calm and storms and non are controlled. You have the choices to make. Make them and then if that does not work for you choose another choice.

You can move on from great pain and you can trust, life is fascinating, interesting and confronting.. And there is great love there, if you allow trust in your life with communication..

I could and maybe seem to play a victim, although you judge me already. I am really a survivor.

I found that who I am is unimportant. What I do is more important. Inspire creative passions which you were born to achieve and be, is!

Darkness and shaddows

Darkness in my friend, the light shows me what ways I am to travel...choices
i make but the warmth of my love keeps me warm at night..
Believing in you...believing in me...

The sense of propriety. Is it merely an illusion?

Want to know something? Mmm

Want to know something amazing.

Life is empty and meaningless...

How is that you ask?

We each place our own meaning on our lives...mmm..

Interesting? Yes/no?

Since birth, all the negative words stuck to us...like glue...family, friends strangers...all of the so called jokes which others found funny at your expanse...stuck to us.

Our bodies absorbed it all...

Yet those positive words were overwhelmed but those negative opinions, jokes...arguments...

Can you give yourself positive feedback or it is negative?

You neither exists beyond your own imagination...how’s that?

When you were a child you were praised for smiling or Burping and scolded for crying, throwing food on the floor, tormenting the Animals, not doing your homework, etc.

Every negative word.. was introduced to us by...get this.. you'll love it...your family.. your friends.. who by the way. . made jokes .. about all of it..mmmm

Communication is the greatest key to a loving and understanding relationship...building that love and trust.. taking it for granted, is taking life for granted. opening your mouth and saying what you really feel, admiringly might hurt the first time, but it tell people where you truly stand. Lies give false hope and you caused it. No one is at blame except you. Taking responsibility for your own actions is the greatest thing and you established your own integrity. You word then has meaning and a bond to it.

Laugh...do you realise that each name calling, blame etc....as you were growing up...Stuck to you like glue?
This comes up in you and me every emotional moment.
yes.. every emotional moment..

You placed important meaning to them...you interpreted them...into your mind...one way or another...they stuck to you...and many never realise it...

mmmmm..Interesting...

Well what else were you to do? After hearing all that while You were growing up...you lost yourselves, including me, you were given Feedback by others on your movements, knowledge and emotions, we all grew up

With those in placed by others.

Then there is a continuous drone of gurus telling us about  we should feel about ourselves. We are too enlightened and yet we are Clueless...including them.

Mother Nature controls us. We are one in 5000 mammals within

A larger group of 1.7 million known species. We might be more advanced than

That of a monkey, that doesn’t always translate into brilliance.

Relatively speaking, of course we make choices every day.

You choose your hairstyle, your brand of toothpaste and toppings. In
absolute sense,

However, this is all bitter sweet, your genes and environmental conditioning

That are doing the choosing for you... there is not a you but from the
natural

Building blocks

We are informed of this and that, how to preserve and talk, what is right
and what is wrong in our lives. So, much so that people get depressed and committee
suicide. That is a long term solution to a short term problem.

Choose Love in the real meaning. Not judging others, allowing others to be
who they are meant to be. Creators of their own lives. Allow them Joy and
laughter, don’t torment them with wisecracks and smart remarks as the only
person who is really affected in that is you. People won’t want to be around
you for that long. Short term friendships, with lasting effects.

The source of so much of your unhappiness is entrenched

Belief that we are choosing our behaviour, often choosing poorly. This
belief

Is the stone in your shoe as you hobble through life?

Drop the distressing theory of human behaviour and replace

It with a new one:" Everyone’s doing the best they can with what life
has given them."

Straight forward, compact enough to slap on the refrigerator

As a reminder, and at least as plausible as any theory you have dreamed up
so Far. With that irritation stone removed from that shoe, you discover
lightness in your step. You’ll stroll through life feeling grateful for what you have been given and sympathy towards those who were given less. Freed from bondage of judgement, you will live in perpetual state of forgiveness.

Adopt the idea that we are all doing the best we can with what we have in our lives now...and each day.

Give respect and acknowledgements for the great things in life. Let the other stuff on the side and grow your life to what it is.. Create your lives, embrace others and empower everyone in trust, friendships and love. Forget the
other stuff.. don't get crazy.. respect and honour your word, deeds and truth.

Enjoy life and not place others under, praise their skills and their
abilities, then your a leader of millions ==

 

Rebuffed

 Rebuffed: When you try to assist someone or give them something, it can feel like a personal affront when they turn you down.

 It often has nothing to do with rudeness. It could be you are offering the wrong kind of assistance altogether, or on the other hand, rejection of a favour can also be reflected the following: Pride, it sometimes in accepti...ng the assistance can feel like admitting inferiority, inadequacy, dependency, or even defeat.

An offer of money, for example, even a loan, can make someone feel like a charity case, and accepting assistance can make someone feel as an inability to being successful complete something unaided.: Unworthiness, as when people grow up thinking that asking for things without explicitly earning then is unacceptably selfish, even feeling that they have no right to your assistance.

When these individuals did allow themselves to take what you are offering, they end up feeling great guilt and or even anxious,. : Indebtedness, is when who seem excessively independent, may have learnt to be that way because their experience validate the notion that taking anything from anyone is way tooo risky. If your offer threatens their sense of freedom, independence, security or autonomy, they'll feel compelled to reject it.: Vulnerability is people with serious trust issues and their fear that accepting a favour will crate an imbalance, weakness in their status in the relationship. For in their past such "taking" was, unexpectedly used against them, why would they risk re-experiencing such betrayal again.. Just thought this was something to share with you. In understanding, what lays beneath the surface of people.

Written by Sonia F Stevens

New Friends MMMM

Good Friends: MMMM another topic to write about. New friends can be better to reflect your current circumstances and provide you with emotional and practical support, while you could say this..old friends/pals/mates; those repositories of shared memories can connect with your present life with your past life. look at the areas which you find yours...elf in.. then think....

The loneliness Paradox; suffering from lack of friends for awhile, there is a chance your social meter is distorted, influencing you to be more cynical and less receptive to good natured overtures from others. Start expecting better from them and they will deliver.....: Friend-Date; Do not be afraid to ask out a person for a coffee date, as they probably be flattered. Place yourself on the line, ... for love and friendship.....: Fight the Similarity Drive.

 Although we are drawn to people with similar foundations and profiles, things can be even more satisfying that a perfect match.......don't be restrained by your barriers....:Embrace Conflict;  Accepting the occasional tuffs, tiffs  is/as part of life ..expanding you as a being..... sounds a  doozy huh?...When your in for the long haul the two of you will require to learn to communicate, misunderstandings are part of learning so is clarification.

Do not allow the friendship fade just because you would rather avoid bringing up a grievance... vent it and then listen to the replies. and communicate. There is more... although I think you get my drift. Love to you all..

SFS xxx

Judgements

Non Judgemental is not reacting or giving advice according to your own belief system.  Fully accepting the person and their experiences, which can be separate to your own experiences.  Non judgement is genuine acceptance of different backgrounds and beliefs between you and the other person.
Suspension of judgement is suitable whenever someone discloses themselves and are feeling vulnerable to other peoples opinions and criticisms.  When they are trying to open up and trust you. We can often make judgements or conclusions too early before someone has finished talking. I find being non-judgemental in communicating takes a lot of self awareness.

Non-judgemental is important in interpersonal communication because it allows you to be completely open to the other person and what they are discussing and the other person will be heard.  It enables the person to experience and accept more of who they are and reconnect with their values and self worth.  It allows you to fully understand & value the other person’s point of view.

 

Real..... Unreal

We were brought up, enculturated, taught, related to, from the idea that our authentic, subjective experience (thoughts, emotions, moods, feelings, etc.) has a causative relationship with our actions. That whole idea is really pervasive, tough to counter, hard to get beyond because it’s so palpably clear to us subjectively. When we are excited (or bored, sad, or angry, etc.), we don’t say “I’m being excited, being angry, etc.,” we say “I’m excited” (vs. I “have” excitement). Similarly, we know we’re not our thoughts—rather, we “have” thoughts. The “I” is never going to go away, but the way we take for granted that what we are feeling, thinking, etc. inside of us is what produces our
actions dramatically limits our world.

If we track down the false division between “act” and “world,” a whole other way of living becomes possible. We don’t act on the world, or act out of what’s there or how it’s always been—we act out of how it “occurs” for us.

We are correlated with the world. “A dancer is locked into an environment, responsive to music, responsive to a partner. The idea that the dance is a state of us, inside of us, or something that happens in us is crazy. Our ability to dance depends on all sorts of things going on inside of us, but that we are dancing is fundamentally an attunement to the world around us.

It often seems like our past experience is calling the shots. Here’s how it works: When we’ve had a bad day, or a bad experience, we put that past experience into our “future,” as something we’re afraid might happen again, and something we want to make sure doesn’t happen again. Or if we’ve had a great day and something we did worked well, we store that past experience in the future, too. So essentially, we take our experiences and circumstances, which are behind us, and put our decisions about them—how we feel and think about them—in front of us. In doing so, we lock ourselves into relating to the past (or some facsimile thereof) as if it were going to happen again in the future. That’s the wiring.

At one time, fail was simply a verb that denoted being unsuccessful or falling short of expectations. Since then phrases like überfail, massive fail, or, most popular of all, epic fail have made occasional forays into noun hood.

Hundreds of flavors of ice cream, countless selections of movie channels, an infinite choice of mates, our daily round of work and play, our incessant getting and spending—the world of “more, better, different” is the air we breathe and its pull is ubiquitous.

It looks a lot like this: we search around and move around and do things and act and keep expanding and going for more or better and sometimes we get kind of stuck. But then we break out and we find a new place in life and we are off again expanding and growing and we keep on doing things and often get more from or better at doing that. And that’s what life’s like. Growing and expanding and
learning and getting more, experimenting, trying things out differently. We might avoid the question “is this it” or “is this all there is” for a while, especially when we don’t have enough of what we’re after—like money, status, or comfort. But after we’ve got “enough,” the odds are we’ll visit those questions yet again.

We take the notion of failure for granted. We don’t really even think about it. When we set out to handle something in a particular way, and don’t succeed, the notion of “failure” has a way of popping up. If we identify ourselves with achievement and accomplishment and success, it can be difficult to tolerate anything that’s inconsistent with that, leaving us no powerful way to be. What happens then is our motivation comes from dealing with how we think (and think that others think) about failure. When we don’t separate out what we were out to accomplish from our attitudes and feelings about it not turning out, the disparity between what happened and what the possibility was is often interpreted as a “failure in being.” This adds even more mass to the experience and reduces being able “to be” at all.

The “being” part of being human is where the infinite possibility of living lies—where we are able to connect dots we never even knew were dots, go in directions that previously couldn’t have been considered, stand in a place from ere we are able to see clearly for ourselves.

When we compromise, even in the tiniest of matters, it’s easier for those compromises to become more and more commonplace. Over time, bit by bit, this erodes our sense of self. It’s like stirring one drop of red paint into a can of white. The paint may turn only the palest shade of pink, and while that
might seem barely noticeable—no matter what we say about it—the paint is no longer what it was. Similarly, when the wholeness and completeness of who we are is jeopardized in some way, albeit imperceptible at first, our sense of ourselves gets obscured, making it harder to return to who we are. When that begins, there’s really no starting point to become ourselves—it’s all flailing around.

 We're all familiar with the old imperative “To thine own self be true,” and clear that much would be resolved if we only  operated consistently with it, although we pull for getting approval from others and the need to fit in is a strong one.
Even when we’re fully aware that we’re being inauthentic, and know that we don’t really believe in what we’re doing or saying, we still act as if we do—because we’re afraid we might risk losing approval of some kind. Even though we know the standards we’ve set for ourselves are impossible to realize, we still keep trying—we hide our perceived shortcomings, or pretend they don’t
exist. In doing so, we unwittingly add yet another layer of in authenticity.


It’s hard to be at ease when we have to keep up a pretence and not be true to ourselves in some way. Yet it’s not as if we woke up one morning and intentionally said, “Gee, I think I’m going to act in-authentically today. What my life’s going to be about is looking good and avoiding looking bad.

To be authentic requires putting aspects of our present ways-of-being on the line—letting go of pretenses, letting things show themselves in new ways, and acknowledging whatever in-authenticity
is at play.

The possibility of fully being ourselves occurs in proportion to our being authentic; said another way, it occurs in proportion to the degree we own our inauthentic ways of being. In not owning them, we essentially resign ourselves to in-authenticity staying around. Living with a pretense, or being afraid that some aspect of ourselves might be found out, precludes any real freedom. We live, rather, with a kind of fabricated freedom—a large price to pay.

 Sartre said that facing one’s freedom can be terrifying and uncomfortable—because facing it makes one feel insecure, and inevitably produces some level of anguish. Hence, we are constantly tempted to live in-authentically, pretending to ourselves that we are not free. To maintain this pretense, we try to convince ourselves that our actions are determined—by our character, our circumstances, our nature, or whatever. The last thing we want to admit is that our actions are determined only by our free, unconstrained choices .” This way of being is just kind of automatically there. Every time we opt for <p>looking</p>good or avoiding looking bad over what’s actually true for us, in-authenticity
creeps in and we compromise who we are.


We don’t much like thinking of ourselves as being inauthentic, but we live in societies today in which the name of the game is to “make it,” to “fit in,” to “look good,” so a great deal of what we think and do becomes shaped by a kind of cultural commitment to that. That pull or gravitational force is an
ontological phenomenon, not a psychological one—it’s the <p>already/always</p>condition of being human (a term which kind of speaks for itself). This condition is ubiquitous—it influences everything: How we see and respond to situations, what we’re concerned with, what’s important to us. While we might think we are responding in true, authentic ways, what is actually happening is
that our responses are essentially just a fallout of that already/always condition, And it is against that pull—the enormous gravitational force of that condition—that we attempt to be authentic.


Being authentic—stepping outside of the swirl of the already/always condition—requires courage. Humorist Josh Billings said, “This undertaking is not only the most difficult thing to do, but the most inconvenient as well.” In being authentic, the already/always condition becomes stripped of its power and is no longer the determining force in shaping who we are. Here, the context for the question “who am I?” shifts from flailing about, trying to find ourselves somewhere out there, to a context of creation. This is more difficult, because there is no zeitgeist to read, no template to follow, no
known path to success. It’s a blank slate. It’s a matter of courage—a matter of creating possibility. It gets made up as we go along, and it is this shift that makes available to us the full possibility of being human.


Under many circumstances, we aren’t willing to stand up for living a transformed life. In some circumstances, we tell ourselves that’s not important to us, that it’s enough just to get by. We’re so wrapped up in our own concerns, particular positions or points of view that  the idea of getting ourselves to a place where things can be resolved in the moment seems untenable. If somebody
had a magic powder to come and sprinkle on us, in those moments, and just through that, we could be transformed, we might say, “No, thanks—I don’t want any!”


We might hear ourselves saying, “Don’t let anything different or even great, happen to me. Let me stay just like I am.” And then we might spend a lot of time building up a justification for where we are—afraid to give up the leaky life boat that’s so familiar, to take a chance on getting in one with no leaks. And our justifications will be rational and intelligent—just like my initial response, and like all the thousands of reasons people use every day to justify staying where they are.


 Living a transformed life takes courage. People often think of courage only as what is called for in a moment of crisis, but that’s not the case. Courage is called for on a day-to-day, moment-to-moment basis, even when there’s nothing urgent at stake. It is up to us to create our lives consistent with who we know ourselves to be—making what’s at stake that which we say is at stake. It’s the stand we take on ourselves. That stand then becomes who we are. Saying that something is at stake is always a purely existential act. This business about freedom, this business about power, is really a product of a place to stand—not something that is out in front of us, that we’re working on or measuring ourselves against. When we live consistent with what we say, we are being true to ourselves..


Transformation has the power to upset the status quo, to unseat us from business as usual—it gives us a platform for being all we can. To choose living a transformed life requires us to wrestle with our resistances, small and large, to come face to face with the angst of giving up our self-imposed limits, our mediocrity—but most important, to live consistent with what we know is possible.
Transformation carries with it a wisdom and a knowing that we have a choice about who we are and the full range that is available to us in being human. With transformation comes big shoes.


We sometimes think that the circumstances in our relationships keep our relationships from being great. (If only she fill in the blank, if only he fill in the blank, etc.) But it’s not the content that determines the quality and power of our relationships—it’s the way we hold the content, the conversations we engage in, the conversation we are, the stand we take for workability.


Power, fulfillment, satisfaction, and aliveness in our relationships happen if we take our various complaints, or things we think don’t work, and promise to produce what’s missing (not as an insufficiency, but a possibility for something). To promise to produce what’s missing leaves us at risk.


 Being related is a grand conversation—it’s living in a possibility, and if it’s a possibility, it’s inherently risky. If it’s not risky, if it’s a sure thing, if it’s predictable, then what we’ll be left with is something trivial.


Our closest relationships then become a place of explanation rather than exploration, of resignation rather than declaration. In those moments, courage is required to set aside our judgments, characterizations, options and create our own relationships in  being powerful again—being related is a conversation, and with that comes an infinite malleability. Love, genuinely and openly expressed, is enormously powerful. And it’s in risking ourselves, in revealing ourselves to one another and to those closest to us, that we become ourselves.

Three interview questions which are important
1. Have you got the skills, expertise and experience to perform the job?
Think about the key skills you might need for the job you have applied for and assess your own level of expertise and experience in that context. It makes sense to identify the more specific or technical skills that your potential employer might expect as well as some more generic skills such as being a good communicator, having good IT skills, being a team player, etc. Once you have prepared for this question it will help you answer many different interview questions without getting side-tracked into talking about things that are not relevant. Remember that you want to demonstrate that you are aware of the key skills, expertise and experience required to do the job and that you have what it takes to perform it. Always go back to the key skills, expertise and experience when answering scary (and sometimes silly) questions like:

• Tell me about yourself?
• What are your greatest strengths / weaknesses?
• What can you do for us that other candidates can’t?
• Why do you think you are right for this job?
• What do you think the main challenges will be?
• Etc.

2. Are you enthusiastic and interested in the job and the company?
Any potential employer wants to know that you are interested in the company and excited about the prospect of working there. You therefore want to demonstrate that you have researched the company, understand its strategy, current performance, structure, market position and products and that you can’t wait to join them. For most, you will have done your homework before you even applied for the job, but if you haven’t then check out the ‘about us’ section on their website and search for the latest strategy documents, annual reports, key statistics as well as the company history. Show that you know them and demonstrate your enthusiasm for the job and company. Here you might also want to think about your ambitions and how they fit into the company you have applied for. You can then use the insights for answering questions such as:

• What do you know about our company?
• What do you think our company is aiming to achieve?
• What do you know about our products and services?
• Why do you want to work for this company?
• Why do you think this job is right for you?
• What motivates you?
• Etc.

3. Will you fit into the team, culture and company?
This final key question is about your personality and your style and how you as a person fit into the team and culture of the company. Companies have different cultures, which translate into different ways of behaving and working. It is important to make sure you fit in and don’t feel like a fish out of water. In fact, it is important for the company as well as for you. Again, hopefully you will have done some research prior to applying for the job. Sometimes, it can be tricky to find detailed knowledge about the company culture, in which case you simply talk about your assumptions and why you feel you fit in. One relatively new website that offers a glance inside companies is Glassdoor. The site is still in its infancy but provides a growing amount of data and information about what it is like to work for different companies. You want to map the culture of the company or the team you are planning to join and compare this to your personality traits, style and behaviors. Again, once you have done this you can use it to answer questions such as:

• How would you describe your work style?
• How would you describe yourself?
• How would your colleagues describe you?
• What makes you fit into our company?
• What makes you a good team member?
• If you were an animal, what animal would you be?
• Etc.

Of course, any interview is a two-way process. In the same way the interviewer wants to find out that you are right for the company, you need to assess whether the company is right for you. Each of the questions can be turned around so that you can assess:

1. By joining this company, will I make best use of my skills and expertise and will they help me to grow them further?
2. Is the company excited about having me work for them and will they give me the necessary support?
3. Is the company culture the right fit for me so that I can flourish and be myself?

If you ask relevant questions from your point of view then this will make the interview more balanced and create a more natural conversation.
I hope this is useful? Please let me know your thoughts and share any comments you might have on the topic

 

When Class You As TOOOOOOOO Needy

Being too clingy, desperate, and needy is a sure fire way to repel men (even the ones who want to “fix” or “rescue” women), wreck your relationships, and further damage your already fragile self-esteem.

We get clingy and needy because we’re starving for attention and affirmation, and when you’re desperate for those things, you stop spending time building our own life, and simply start scanning for any possible source for a “fix."

I know, that’s drug junkie language. And it fits in this situation, because what you need to do is break your addiction, and get yourself back to good emotional health.

 

Last time I wrote about the “Are You Too Needy“, and this week I’ll show you a few more ways to tackle and defeat neediness once and for all…

Dear MMMMM,

I recently finished a 2 year relationship I know many reasons why I didn’t have the relationship I wanted. Not long after that, I started to see someone new but I also made many mistakes and became needy too quick and now the guy I was seeing won’t call me anymore. This is after him saying he really liked me and being super interested in me. How can I fix that? If I contact him I’m going to look more needy but even though I am living my life and flirting with guys and everything, he won’t ever find out about it because he won’t call. How can I make him chase me now? At this stage if I don’t contact him he will never contact me and he can never notice the change I am going through. – J

 

It sounds counter-intuitive, J, but to have any chance at all, you’ve got to stop focusing on this one guy. I know you’re doing this already, but throw yourself into dating and following your passions — and let him see what a fantastic life you’re living.

 

You don’t have to wait for him to call in order to convince him that you’re happily investing yourself into your life. Post a few teasers (even some photos of you having a blast) on your public profiles, like Facebook, or Instagram. You can even invite him to join you on something you’re planning, but the trick is that you should go no matter what.

 

That way he begins to understand that…

 

a) You’re moving on (in the best kind of way), and

 

b) He will miss out on the awesome if he doesn’t get on board.

 

But listen: it’s not just about convincing him: the real person you need to convince is YOU. Like you said already, you need to go through some serious change. And you’re DEFINITELY not the only one; lots of women struggle with this.

 

Here are a few more ways to stop feeling desperate, and start winning the attention of lots of guys once again: Build Yourself Up1. Work toward your beautiful future.

 

What are your top 3 goals for life right now? Get busy and make a plan for meeting those goals and work your plan. Invest in your passions. Follow your dreams!

 

2. Expand your social network

If you only ever spend time with one or two girlfriends, now is the time to start renewing and expanding your circle of friends, coaches, and mentors.

 

3. Get help where you need it

If you’re stuck, spend some time getting help from a emotionally healthy friend or advisor.

Change Your Dating Approach1. Make a dating plan and timeline

Decide what your goal in dating is going to be. Are you dating for fun or commitment? If the latter, how long are you willing to invest in a particular guy before you determine whether he’s commitment material or not and move on?

 

2. Date lots of guys

I say this all the time because it’s the best possible way to make a man who is really interested in you realize your worth, and understand that other men are going to be competing for your attention. It’s also a good way to learn what you like in a man. You gotta stop putting all your focus on one guy!

 

3. Slow down

When you do start seeing someone, don’t go “all in” so soon. Keep your friends close and don’t stop doing all the other things you’re doing in life. And above all, slow down the pace of communication. Don’t respond to every text, call, or “like” instantly. You have other stuff to do!

 

Showcase Your “New and Improved” Life1. Post some photos and updates on your social profiles

And don’t forget the power of friends, co-workers, and other acquaintances talking about the exciting things you’re doing

 

2. Invite him out (and have a blast!)

It’s completely okay for you to invite a man out. Your best bet is to make it a group outing, and something that has a slight edge of danger to it. Think zip lining, watching a scary movie, go-carts, or anything that gets both your pulses racing.

 

Learn from your mistakes, and move on with fresh confidence

 

Remember, making mistakes doesn’t make you a screw-up. Making mistakes is proof that you’re actively trying. Instead of smacking yourself on the forehead and saying, “What was I thinking?” take a moment to breathe deeply and ask “What was I learning?” instead.

You’re going to be great. Keep working it!

 

The Lesson in life Great Philosphy for the Human Mind

 When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 Beers. A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. ...He then asked the students if the jar was full.

They agreed that it was.

 The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.

The students laughed.. 'Now,' said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things---your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favourite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car..

The sand is everything else---the small stuff. 'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18 holes or ride 30 miles on your bike. Don't screw around with other people on any level, even sexually. There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn. Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand. One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented. The professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked.' The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of Beers with a friend, there is no room for cheats and vagabonds in your real life as you need to be creating your life fully without hang ups.