Words Or Wisdom

WE Don't Lose Friends! WE Just Learn WHO Our Friends REALY ARE.

Intelligence is like an underwear. It is important that you have it, but not necessary that you show it off.

Fake people never surprise me these days. Loyal and forgiving people do.

Words cannot hurt you, unless the words said, came by the person you care about the most.

The prettiest smiles hide the deepest secrets. The prettiest eyes have cried the most tears. And the kindest hearts have felt the most pain.

Sometimes you miss the memories, not the person.

Don't waste your time on revenge. Those who hurt you will eventually face their own karma.
Haters will broadcast your failure, but whisper your success..

Apologizing does not always mean you are wrong. It just means that you value your relationships more than your ego.

Respect is earned, Honesty is appreciated, Love is gained and Loyalty is returned.

Women fall in love by what they hear. Men fall in love by what they see. That's why most women wear makeup and most men lie.

The less you care, the happier you will be.

I rather have an honest enemy than a fake friend.

Sometimes you have to shut up, swallow your pride and accept that you’re wrong. It’s not giving up, it’s called growing up.

A pretty face is nothing if you have an ugly heart.

Twitter has a bird as its logo, that's why when you join you're an egg. And your home button is a birdhouse. Why am I just getting this?

Why do we close our eyes when we pray, cry, kiss or dream? Because the most beautiful things in life are not seen but felt by the heart.

Someone who really loves you sees what a mess you can be, how moody you can get, how hard u are to handle, but still wants u in their life.

If you're absent during my struggle, don't expect to be present during my success.

Don't cry because they left. Just smile because they gave you a chance to find someone better.

I don't regret the things I've done, I regret the things I didn't do when I had the chance.

Fake friends are like shadows: always near you at your brightest moments, but nowhere to be seen at your darkest hour.

You never just stop loving someone, either you always will, or you never did in the first place.

The worst feeling is when someone makes you feel special, then suddenly leaves you hanging, and you have to act like you don't care at all.

When a someone tells you about their problems, it does not mean they complains. It means they trusts you.

God has perfect timing; never early, never late. It takes a little patience and faith, but it's worth the wait.

The worst feeling is pretending you don't care about someone, when really they are all you think about.

God doesn't make mistakes. Trust it, when someone ends up in your past, they're there for a reason.

If you don't fight for what you want, don't cry for what you lost.

Breathe. It's just a bad day, not a bad life.

You get in the biggest fights with the people you care about the most, because they are the relationships you're willing to fight for.

No matter how good or bad you think life is, wake up each day and be thankful for life. Someone somewhere else is fighting to survive.

Honestly, I don't have time to hate people who hate me cause I'm too busy loving people who love me.

Don’t judge my choices if you don’t understand my reasons.

The words I love you: I am sorry: Please forgive me: and Thank you , need to be said.. as it is those words which make life a live and have meaning.. when a per...son say's them, it is up to you bo believe them or not.. and the person saying them has to really mean them for them to be taken seriously.. Do not kid around when they are said.. Same is for asking someone to marry them... and these words are not a joke..

Sometimes you have to care less, in order to see if they'll care more....

I found that who I am is unimportant. What I do is more important. Inspire creative passions which you were born to achieve and be, is!

I don't forgive people because I'm weak. I forgive them because I am strong enough to know people make mistakes.

Hate the fact that you ignore me for so long, then you start talking to me like nothing happened.

I love my mom no matter what we go through, no matter how much we argue, because I know, at the end, she'll always be there.

Looking at a photograph and wishing you could re-live that moment over and over again.

No one has the right to judge you. They might have heard your stories, but they didn't feel what you were going through.

Distance means nothing when someone means everything.

Strangers can become best friends just as easy as best friends can become strangers.

I don't hate you, I never will. I just act like I do, because it's easier than admitting that I miss you.

If you don't do stupid things while you're young, you'll have nothing to smile about when you're old.

If you truly love someone, all you want is for them to be happy, even if deep down, all you want is for you to be their happiness.

Appreciate those who love you. Help those who need you. Forgive those who hurt you. Forget those who leave you.

Sometimes it’s a good thing to have fake people in this world. It helps you find out who your real friends are.

Over-thinking ruins you. Ruins the situation, twists things around, makes you worry and just makes everything much worse than it actually is.

The best revenge is happiness, because nothing drives people more crazy then seeing someone actually having a good life.

Just because you can't see the air, doesn't mean you stop breathing. Just because you can't see God doesn't mean you stop believing.

I want to write "I miss you" on a rock and throw it at your face so you know how much it hurts to miss you.

Things will get worse before they get better. But when they do, remember who put you down and who helped you up.

No matter how busy a person is, if they really care, they'll always find time for you.

One of the hardest parts of life is deciding whether to walk away or try harder.

Never give up on something you really want. It's difficult to wait, but more difficult to regret.

We don't lose friends. We just learn who our real ones are.

Its funny how you can do nice things for people all the time and they never notice. But once you make one mistake, its never forgotten.

Good things come to those who wait... Better things come to those who don't give up... and the best things come to those who believe.

Just because we don't talk doesn't mean I don't think about you. I'm just trying to distance myself because I know I can't have you.

Everyone comes into your life for a reason, some for good or bad, they may shape us, break us, but in the end they make us who we are.

Don't trust too much. Don't love too much. Don't hope too much. Because that too much can hurt you so much.

Where ever you are, be there totaly. If your are here and now makes you unhappy, you hae three options: a) Remove yourself,b) Change it, c) Accept it totally.

Life's not about people who act true to your face. It's about people who remain true behind your back.

I'd much rather have an enemy who can admit that they hate me, than to have a "friend" whose mission is to put me down secretly.

Don't promise when you're happy, Don't reply when you're angry, and don't decide when you're sad.

Grades don't measure intelligence and age doesn't define maturity.

Being in a relationship is not about kissing, dates or showing off. It's about being with the person who makes you happy.

Sometimes you have to let things go, so there's room for better things to come into your life.

Stop caring what people think. Stop taking caution in your actions, listen to what you want, do what you want, this is your life. Live it.

No one is perfect.. there are always mistakes.. it is your integrity which keeps you who you are abel you can forgive and move on from mistakes or you can live in mistakes and get swallowed up and forgotten in mistakes..

Do what you have to do today so you can do what you want tomorrow. What you to really want is a life us that takes pride that you have lived, and that takes work. The only way that we can truly live, is to grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change.  The only way to change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way we can become exposed is if we are willing to place ourselves out there and work through life’s difficulties.

A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory.

Do what you have to do today so you can do what you want tomorrow. What you to really want is a life us that takes pride that you have lived, and that takes work. The only way that we can truly live, is to grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change.  The only way to change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way we can become exposed is if we are willing to place ourselves out there and work through life’s difficulties.

 

Faith in ME

Have a little faith in me

When The road is dark and you can no longer see..

Then my love with give a small spake.

have a little faith me..

When tears your cry all you can believe in  just give these loven arms a try

Have a little faith me..

I been loving for all this long time..

without expecting anything in return...

asking back in kind, just a little faith in me..

As time is our friend as i hold you up when you have a little faith in me..

Sometimes there seems there are so many thing we cannot control.. earthquakes, news, people

There are many more of those things which we can.

Like forgiveness, second chances,  fresh starts

The one thing that changes the world from a lonely place to beautiful place is love

Love in any of it’s forms gives us hope

THERE IS NO DANGER WHEN YOU FALL IN LOVE,IS IT DANGEROUS FOR ME TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU.

When you took one took, One look at me and in that moment...

You felt deep inside of you the bonds,

It was then, I was overwhelmed with pride.

Your mine tonight...

You’re eyes are bright,

In your heart is light.

In the dead of this night,

Just hold me tight.

Stars and I are here tonight under the crescent moon..

.Kissing you wet lips...

Caressing you under the crest of the New Moon.

The love with us blooms.

Dawn in breaking the early morning is calling for you,

The early morning sings for you.

There is no other place on earth that I would rather be..

.It is here,

Where I am meant to be...

Never did I find the words before.

There are many things which I want to share with you.

Your love for me is DANGEROUS..

.I am in danger of falling in love with you...

Your love for me is dangerous..

.Early morning is crying for you...

Just like morning dew...

Your cheeky face...

As the morning light shines for you...

Here we are,

Just you and me,

What is it when you’re stuck,

When you walk away.

This is a game where we need not play

.Don't try to fix me,

Cause you’re in pain.

When you're giving me you time

 As you are like a broken arrow..

.What do you do when you heart is in two places.

Like a broken arrow...

Don't keep pushing me away...

Even when you know, Your love is real,

When your heart is in two places,

You feel love... even though we are worlds apart...

This is a great love and it needs to start

.Like an arrow hitting us in our heart.

This love for me is dangerous,

As I am in danger of falling in Love with you.

Sonia F Stevens Copyrighted 2011

 

I found that who I am is unimportant. What I do is more important. Inspire creative passions which you were born to achieve and be, is!

Story.. real

No a small story of my past.
 

The past years I have assisted in establishing over 450+ projects, for people from nothing.
I know I said all those things which I personally want in my life..it is something i need to keep my sanity at times to want those things.
I am a female as you know, I have spinal situation,
I created my life over again by re education of myself in... Screen and... Media, Production, Music Business, Business , Pr and recording.

Te past ten thirteen year, I built up a network thought my own research of over90,000 Entertainment families. Not one cent came from anywhere.. As no one believed in me.

I have done 19 music videos for others , written two books, write blogs and empower many people. I have not been in the 'Limelight'. I taken photographs on many things since I was given my first box brownie..at the age a four.

I was ready and writing at the age of 2.

I sent over 100,000 books to the pacific for the communities over there, and gave that area of network to Rotary clubs in Sydney when they took it over in 2007. I established all that from not having a penny to my name.

Everything I have done was from nothing, no money, no one behind me.

I wanted someone to love me for me.. so I went on line where I met you.

Now I am clarifying that I know what it is like to be well off and also when you have nothing.

I want to play ,, enjoy life with you.

I care for people and established many things in those past years since my divorce in 2003.

I grew up all over the place and met many people, well known and not so.. I was raped in 2004 and had major surgery then and in 2011.

I assisted many people, yet when I need to be looked after..no one came..only three people out of the thousands ...

I am not a celebrity, or a well known star,, of business person.

When I worked in Telecom I was in fiancé and accounting  and handled million to the new infrastructure of cabling in and around Sydney and optical cable from NSW to Victoria.

The store guys nicked named me boots, as I was the one woman who went out in the field into their domain and seen how they worked, I even used a forklift. . hence the nick name 'boots'.

I have been with many artists, picking them up and empowering them to create their passions and dreams, admitting I have lost a few, through suicides.

I tread everyone with respect no matter who they are.

I give food to the street people when they are begging..as that will fill their stomachs up or a warm blanket ,,,

When I am able to do so.

I want a life where love is there for me. So I can curl up and just be.

I wish you could understand all this. We can achieve many dreams in our lives. We can achieve a lot out of our turmoil. What stops us..really,, is our own barriers which we place up. And we all started building those barriers since childhood...  As we get older, we forgot that they are there.. only when we look within ourselves occasionally we come across them... No one placed them there for us.. We Placed them there long long ago.

 

 

I found that who I am is unimportant. What I do is more important. Inspire creative passions which you were born to achieve and be, is!

When the people's insults are hitting you.

If somebody has insulted you, feel thankful to him that he has given you an opportunity to feel a deep wound. He has opened a wound in you. The wound may be created by many many insults that you have suffered in your whole life; he may not be the cause of all the suffering, but he has triggered a process. Just close your room, sit silently, with no... anger for the person but with total awareness of the feeling that is arising in you — the hurt feeling that you have been rejected, that you have been insulted. And then you will be surprised that not only is this man there: all the men and all the women and all the people that have ever insulted you will start moving in your memory. You will start not only remembering them, you will start reliving them. You will be going into a kind of primal. Feel the hurt, feel the pain, don’t avoid it.

That’s why in many therapies the patient is told not to take any drugs before the therapy begins, for the simple reason that drugs are a way to escape from your inner misery. They don’t allow you to see your wounds, they repress them. They don’t allow you to go into your suffering and unless you go into your suffering, you cannot be released from the imprisonment of it. 

 

My Commitment

Within my heart there is a struggle

within my life the intimacy revelling knowledge of you

Within my heart lies bare and cherished of primal attachment.



Deepest truths when we are together

Widening our lives with each other in twining

Sustaining us knowledge of trust, love and passion



This is the choice of maturity

Being supported every way while we live our lives together

Living our close lives intertwined each day



Within my heart there is a struggle

Within my life the intimacy revelling knowledge of you

Within my heart lies bare and cherished of primal attachment.



With our all and imperfections

Giving all to each other

The love which joins us amidst the moods of other's rejections.



The deepest struggles of our hearts

Of life and imperfections being heard and known

Calm amidst the life of moods and within love us



With maturity and our commitment

Responsibility, integrity of this commitment

Learning and expanding as we love and understand

Overwhelm all that there is and will be.


To experience and left unexperienced the sharing

There is a place where I for you and you for I

Have chosen together to all that we have


All the yearnings of needs wants and desires

The hearts which beat as one

Knowing of peace excitement as we get even closer

One lover for each other

So it is now and forever

You will be my lover


Written by Sonia F Stevens © copyright2013

 

Power Of NO

No… The power of NO

The integrity of this word “NO” a shield against exploitation and an instrument when wielded wisely.

There is a lot of talk about “yes” as it supports risk taking, courage, open hearted approach to life which grace cannot be minimised.

“No” Slams the door shut between one’s self and the influence of others. It has a hidden power .    It is easy misunderstood, difficult to engage. And others.

Negativity is ongoing attitude. NO.. is a moment of clear choice. It announces, indirectly, something affirmative about you.

NO.. has two faces, one we turn towards ourselves and one that creates boundaries between ourselves.

No.. the one we address to struggle to strengthen our internal.

No.. the one we address to our own self-destructive impulses, struggle which we are most familiar.

That NO controls our vent of rage on the road and our urge for that addiction. No.. self-discipline

No..  The one we learnt as babies to adulthood.

No… Line in the sand or stone.
If you feel you cannot say no, at least to something's, some of the time. Then you are being controlled.. interesting is it now how we as human beings act.

New Friends MMMM

Good Friends: MMMM another topic to write about. New friends can be better to reflect your current circumstances and provide you with emotional and practical support, while you could say this..old friends/pals/mates; those repositories of shared memories can connect with your present life with your past life. look at the areas which you find yours...elf in.. then think....

The loneliness Paradox; suffering from lack of friends for awhile, there is a chance your social meter is distorted, influencing you to be more cynical and less receptive to good natured overtures from others. Start expecting better from them and they will deliver.....: Friend-Date; Do not be afraid to ask out a person for a coffee date, as they probably be flattered. Place yourself on the line, ... for love and friendship.....: Fight the Similarity Drive.

 Although we are drawn to people with similar foundations and profiles, things can be even more satisfying that a perfect match.......don't be restrained by your barriers....:Embrace Conflict;  Accepting the occasional tuffs, tiffs  is/as part of life ..expanding you as a being..... sounds a  doozy huh?...When your in for the long haul the two of you will require to learn to communicate, misunderstandings are part of learning so is clarification.

Do not allow the friendship fade just because you would rather avoid bringing up a grievance... vent it and then listen to the replies. and communicate. There is more... although I think you get my drift. Love to you all..

SFS xxx

Judgements

Non Judgemental is not reacting or giving advice according to your own belief system.  Fully accepting the person and their experiences, which can be separate to your own experiences.  Non judgement is genuine acceptance of different backgrounds and beliefs between you and the other person.
Suspension of judgement is suitable whenever someone discloses themselves and are feeling vulnerable to other peoples opinions and criticisms.  When they are trying to open up and trust you. We can often make judgements or conclusions too early before someone has finished talking. I find being non-judgemental in communicating takes a lot of self awareness.

Non-judgemental is important in interpersonal communication because it allows you to be completely open to the other person and what they are discussing and the other person will be heard.  It enables the person to experience and accept more of who they are and reconnect with their values and self worth.  It allows you to fully understand & value the other person’s point of view.

 

Aging is inevitable; maturing is optional

 Aging is inevitable; maturing is optional

Yet in the mist of all darkness, there are some people who will not give up. I see some people who will not give up even when all hope is lost. Some people give love when it never is given back to them.

...

Who has not lost faith.

Watching people kill each other over race and greed, waging war over dust and rubble, old words in books of long past.. Yet there are some people who will not be bound, some people who give love are love and share love, some people who realise being lost is closer to being found.

When you love a person without a thought of oneself, even though loves another and will never love you..

My love, my hope for mankind is no less than any other, to believe, acknowledge and inspire with trust and love from the very being. If this is wrong then that is your choice, as this is mine and is how I am. I cannot make anyone believe or live their lives, I can only be me and live the way I am being me.

When you’re given an order that you don’t believe in what is it you do..

I lived my life in that question and yet I believe in people, have faith in people, and still love one who will never return that love, I love, trust and have faith in people.. Thing is whenever I get down, I get up and keep going. Something deep inside keeps me going even in the darkest times. The love of people the belief in people still keeps me moving forward. The friendships made and the friendships which were never meant to be still keep giving me faith on those around me. Even when at time I am lost, the light inside of me rekindles and forgiving, caring comes to the for front of my life..

People will not have trust in me; there is faith, trust, love for them from me..I don’t need to be known or shown off. I am just here for the service of you. As for fame of popularity is yours.. I believe in every one of my friends, they have great talent and so much to offer others.

I was given an order that no one cares and should not give anyone time as they would not do the same for me.. (LONG TIME AGO).Thing is I have faith, love and compassion for you and I will never take on that order. My expectations may never be filled on that, thing is I will always be there for you, no matter what...just sometimes I need a holiday too...

Sometimes I do require a bit of compassion and love too, as it feeds my very being.

 

Real..... Unreal

We were brought up, enculturated, taught, related to, from the idea that our authentic, subjective experience (thoughts, emotions, moods, feelings, etc.) has a causative relationship with our actions. That whole idea is really pervasive, tough to counter, hard to get beyond because it’s so palpably clear to us subjectively. When we are excited (or bored, sad, or angry, etc.), we don’t say “I’m being excited, being angry, etc.,” we say “I’m excited” (vs. I “have” excitement). Similarly, we know we’re not our thoughts—rather, we “have” thoughts. The “I” is never going to go away, but the way we take for granted that what we are feeling, thinking, etc. inside of us is what produces our
actions dramatically limits our world.

If we track down the false division between “act” and “world,” a whole other way of living becomes possible. We don’t act on the world, or act out of what’s there or how it’s always been—we act out of how it “occurs” for us.

We are correlated with the world. “A dancer is locked into an environment, responsive to music, responsive to a partner. The idea that the dance is a state of us, inside of us, or something that happens in us is crazy. Our ability to dance depends on all sorts of things going on inside of us, but that we are dancing is fundamentally an attunement to the world around us.

It often seems like our past experience is calling the shots. Here’s how it works: When we’ve had a bad day, or a bad experience, we put that past experience into our “future,” as something we’re afraid might happen again, and something we want to make sure doesn’t happen again. Or if we’ve had a great day and something we did worked well, we store that past experience in the future, too. So essentially, we take our experiences and circumstances, which are behind us, and put our decisions about them—how we feel and think about them—in front of us. In doing so, we lock ourselves into relating to the past (or some facsimile thereof) as if it were going to happen again in the future. That’s the wiring.

At one time, fail was simply a verb that denoted being unsuccessful or falling short of expectations. Since then phrases like überfail, massive fail, or, most popular of all, epic fail have made occasional forays into noun hood.

Hundreds of flavors of ice cream, countless selections of movie channels, an infinite choice of mates, our daily round of work and play, our incessant getting and spending—the world of “more, better, different” is the air we breathe and its pull is ubiquitous.

It looks a lot like this: we search around and move around and do things and act and keep expanding and going for more or better and sometimes we get kind of stuck. But then we break out and we find a new place in life and we are off again expanding and growing and we keep on doing things and often get more from or better at doing that. And that’s what life’s like. Growing and expanding and
learning and getting more, experimenting, trying things out differently. We might avoid the question “is this it” or “is this all there is” for a while, especially when we don’t have enough of what we’re after—like money, status, or comfort. But after we’ve got “enough,” the odds are we’ll visit those questions yet again.

We take the notion of failure for granted. We don’t really even think about it. When we set out to handle something in a particular way, and don’t succeed, the notion of “failure” has a way of popping up. If we identify ourselves with achievement and accomplishment and success, it can be difficult to tolerate anything that’s inconsistent with that, leaving us no powerful way to be. What happens then is our motivation comes from dealing with how we think (and think that others think) about failure. When we don’t separate out what we were out to accomplish from our attitudes and feelings about it not turning out, the disparity between what happened and what the possibility was is often interpreted as a “failure in being.” This adds even more mass to the experience and reduces being able “to be” at all.

The “being” part of being human is where the infinite possibility of living lies—where we are able to connect dots we never even knew were dots, go in directions that previously couldn’t have been considered, stand in a place from ere we are able to see clearly for ourselves.

When we compromise, even in the tiniest of matters, it’s easier for those compromises to become more and more commonplace. Over time, bit by bit, this erodes our sense of self. It’s like stirring one drop of red paint into a can of white. The paint may turn only the palest shade of pink, and while that
might seem barely noticeable—no matter what we say about it—the paint is no longer what it was. Similarly, when the wholeness and completeness of who we are is jeopardized in some way, albeit imperceptible at first, our sense of ourselves gets obscured, making it harder to return to who we are. When that begins, there’s really no starting point to become ourselves—it’s all flailing around.

 We're all familiar with the old imperative “To thine own self be true,” and clear that much would be resolved if we only  operated consistently with it, although we pull for getting approval from others and the need to fit in is a strong one.
Even when we’re fully aware that we’re being inauthentic, and know that we don’t really believe in what we’re doing or saying, we still act as if we do—because we’re afraid we might risk losing approval of some kind. Even though we know the standards we’ve set for ourselves are impossible to realize, we still keep trying—we hide our perceived shortcomings, or pretend they don’t
exist. In doing so, we unwittingly add yet another layer of in authenticity.


It’s hard to be at ease when we have to keep up a pretence and not be true to ourselves in some way. Yet it’s not as if we woke up one morning and intentionally said, “Gee, I think I’m going to act in-authentically today. What my life’s going to be about is looking good and avoiding looking bad.

To be authentic requires putting aspects of our present ways-of-being on the line—letting go of pretenses, letting things show themselves in new ways, and acknowledging whatever in-authenticity
is at play.

The possibility of fully being ourselves occurs in proportion to our being authentic; said another way, it occurs in proportion to the degree we own our inauthentic ways of being. In not owning them, we essentially resign ourselves to in-authenticity staying around. Living with a pretense, or being afraid that some aspect of ourselves might be found out, precludes any real freedom. We live, rather, with a kind of fabricated freedom—a large price to pay.

 Sartre said that facing one’s freedom can be terrifying and uncomfortable—because facing it makes one feel insecure, and inevitably produces some level of anguish. Hence, we are constantly tempted to live in-authentically, pretending to ourselves that we are not free. To maintain this pretense, we try to convince ourselves that our actions are determined—by our character, our circumstances, our nature, or whatever. The last thing we want to admit is that our actions are determined only by our free, unconstrained choices .” This way of being is just kind of automatically there. Every time we opt for <p>looking</p>good or avoiding looking bad over what’s actually true for us, in-authenticity
creeps in and we compromise who we are.


We don’t much like thinking of ourselves as being inauthentic, but we live in societies today in which the name of the game is to “make it,” to “fit in,” to “look good,” so a great deal of what we think and do becomes shaped by a kind of cultural commitment to that. That pull or gravitational force is an
ontological phenomenon, not a psychological one—it’s the <p>already/always</p>condition of being human (a term which kind of speaks for itself). This condition is ubiquitous—it influences everything: How we see and respond to situations, what we’re concerned with, what’s important to us. While we might think we are responding in true, authentic ways, what is actually happening is
that our responses are essentially just a fallout of that already/always condition, And it is against that pull—the enormous gravitational force of that condition—that we attempt to be authentic.


Being authentic—stepping outside of the swirl of the already/always condition—requires courage. Humorist Josh Billings said, “This undertaking is not only the most difficult thing to do, but the most inconvenient as well.” In being authentic, the already/always condition becomes stripped of its power and is no longer the determining force in shaping who we are. Here, the context for the question “who am I?” shifts from flailing about, trying to find ourselves somewhere out there, to a context of creation. This is more difficult, because there is no zeitgeist to read, no template to follow, no
known path to success. It’s a blank slate. It’s a matter of courage—a matter of creating possibility. It gets made up as we go along, and it is this shift that makes available to us the full possibility of being human.


Under many circumstances, we aren’t willing to stand up for living a transformed life. In some circumstances, we tell ourselves that’s not important to us, that it’s enough just to get by. We’re so wrapped up in our own concerns, particular positions or points of view that  the idea of getting ourselves to a place where things can be resolved in the moment seems untenable. If somebody
had a magic powder to come and sprinkle on us, in those moments, and just through that, we could be transformed, we might say, “No, thanks—I don’t want any!”


We might hear ourselves saying, “Don’t let anything different or even great, happen to me. Let me stay just like I am.” And then we might spend a lot of time building up a justification for where we are—afraid to give up the leaky life boat that’s so familiar, to take a chance on getting in one with no leaks. And our justifications will be rational and intelligent—just like my initial response, and like all the thousands of reasons people use every day to justify staying where they are.


 Living a transformed life takes courage. People often think of courage only as what is called for in a moment of crisis, but that’s not the case. Courage is called for on a day-to-day, moment-to-moment basis, even when there’s nothing urgent at stake. It is up to us to create our lives consistent with who we know ourselves to be—making what’s at stake that which we say is at stake. It’s the stand we take on ourselves. That stand then becomes who we are. Saying that something is at stake is always a purely existential act. This business about freedom, this business about power, is really a product of a place to stand—not something that is out in front of us, that we’re working on or measuring ourselves against. When we live consistent with what we say, we are being true to ourselves..


Transformation has the power to upset the status quo, to unseat us from business as usual—it gives us a platform for being all we can. To choose living a transformed life requires us to wrestle with our resistances, small and large, to come face to face with the angst of giving up our self-imposed limits, our mediocrity—but most important, to live consistent with what we know is possible.
Transformation carries with it a wisdom and a knowing that we have a choice about who we are and the full range that is available to us in being human. With transformation comes big shoes.


We sometimes think that the circumstances in our relationships keep our relationships from being great. (If only she fill in the blank, if only he fill in the blank, etc.) But it’s not the content that determines the quality and power of our relationships—it’s the way we hold the content, the conversations we engage in, the conversation we are, the stand we take for workability.


Power, fulfillment, satisfaction, and aliveness in our relationships happen if we take our various complaints, or things we think don’t work, and promise to produce what’s missing (not as an insufficiency, but a possibility for something). To promise to produce what’s missing leaves us at risk.


 Being related is a grand conversation—it’s living in a possibility, and if it’s a possibility, it’s inherently risky. If it’s not risky, if it’s a sure thing, if it’s predictable, then what we’ll be left with is something trivial.


Our closest relationships then become a place of explanation rather than exploration, of resignation rather than declaration. In those moments, courage is required to set aside our judgments, characterizations, options and create our own relationships in  being powerful again—being related is a conversation, and with that comes an infinite malleability. Love, genuinely and openly expressed, is enormously powerful. And it’s in risking ourselves, in revealing ourselves to one another and to those closest to us, that we become ourselves.

Three interview questions which are important
1. Have you got the skills, expertise and experience to perform the job?
Think about the key skills you might need for the job you have applied for and assess your own level of expertise and experience in that context. It makes sense to identify the more specific or technical skills that your potential employer might expect as well as some more generic skills such as being a good communicator, having good IT skills, being a team player, etc. Once you have prepared for this question it will help you answer many different interview questions without getting side-tracked into talking about things that are not relevant. Remember that you want to demonstrate that you are aware of the key skills, expertise and experience required to do the job and that you have what it takes to perform it. Always go back to the key skills, expertise and experience when answering scary (and sometimes silly) questions like:

• Tell me about yourself?
• What are your greatest strengths / weaknesses?
• What can you do for us that other candidates can’t?
• Why do you think you are right for this job?
• What do you think the main challenges will be?
• Etc.

2. Are you enthusiastic and interested in the job and the company?
Any potential employer wants to know that you are interested in the company and excited about the prospect of working there. You therefore want to demonstrate that you have researched the company, understand its strategy, current performance, structure, market position and products and that you can’t wait to join them. For most, you will have done your homework before you even applied for the job, but if you haven’t then check out the ‘about us’ section on their website and search for the latest strategy documents, annual reports, key statistics as well as the company history. Show that you know them and demonstrate your enthusiasm for the job and company. Here you might also want to think about your ambitions and how they fit into the company you have applied for. You can then use the insights for answering questions such as:

• What do you know about our company?
• What do you think our company is aiming to achieve?
• What do you know about our products and services?
• Why do you want to work for this company?
• Why do you think this job is right for you?
• What motivates you?
• Etc.

3. Will you fit into the team, culture and company?
This final key question is about your personality and your style and how you as a person fit into the team and culture of the company. Companies have different cultures, which translate into different ways of behaving and working. It is important to make sure you fit in and don’t feel like a fish out of water. In fact, it is important for the company as well as for you. Again, hopefully you will have done some research prior to applying for the job. Sometimes, it can be tricky to find detailed knowledge about the company culture, in which case you simply talk about your assumptions and why you feel you fit in. One relatively new website that offers a glance inside companies is Glassdoor. The site is still in its infancy but provides a growing amount of data and information about what it is like to work for different companies. You want to map the culture of the company or the team you are planning to join and compare this to your personality traits, style and behaviors. Again, once you have done this you can use it to answer questions such as:

• How would you describe your work style?
• How would you describe yourself?
• How would your colleagues describe you?
• What makes you fit into our company?
• What makes you a good team member?
• If you were an animal, what animal would you be?
• Etc.

Of course, any interview is a two-way process. In the same way the interviewer wants to find out that you are right for the company, you need to assess whether the company is right for you. Each of the questions can be turned around so that you can assess:

1. By joining this company, will I make best use of my skills and expertise and will they help me to grow them further?
2. Is the company excited about having me work for them and will they give me the necessary support?
3. Is the company culture the right fit for me so that I can flourish and be myself?

If you ask relevant questions from your point of view then this will make the interview more balanced and create a more natural conversation.
I hope this is useful? Please let me know your thoughts and share any comments you might have on the topic

 

Life of Joy and Peace

(¯`´¯) ..•*¨`*♫.•´*.¸.•´♥`L O V E *.¸.*
The love that is within you need to be honoured..not the love that is mixed with lust.. The love, love that gives you love with language, trust, gratitude, forgiveness .To honour and respect to acknowledge is respect is the simplest things.What happen when you honour the place in you as it honours you and the... homage that is with you is called peace.Joy is your reward, it is called understanding.. it is called joy..The clarity is the reward. Singularity is not duality, you need to find your singularity as you are born and die singularity. You need start that in your life which is in the light. When you give yourself the knowledge, you find the joy and light in your life. You find real love which is the light of your life and it is then you see every life for who/what is around you. Stop gossiping about others as then you find not the real joy of life.That light resides in your heart.The gift of knowledge , to turn the knowledge of the outside to turn the knowledge which is turned to inside of you.Full fill your thirst within you with the knowledge that is within you, It does not reside outside of you,. Appreciate what is in front of you. This is what gives you joy. Joy and peace reside within yourself it has nothing to do with what is outside of your being.. Feel your breath and feel the joy of the simple breath,  see the colours and know the joy of sight, see the textures and understand the joy of textures.Joy gives you a life of peace..simple..enjoy the simple things and hold on to them, release everything else so you can live in joy and in peace. The simple things gives us life and freedom. Dont get complicated.(¯`´¯) ..•*¨`*♫.•                          ´*.¸.•´♥`L O V E *.¸.*

Written by Sonia F Stevens copyrighted 2013

Bring out the Best

Bringing the Best Out

The three centres of Intelligence

1. The Heard Centre

Gather information: generate Ideas: Mental processing: Rational analysis: Planning

Productive Uses: Objective analysis; astute insight; Productive planning

Unproductive Uses: Overanalyses; Projection, this is imagination that someone else is thinking, feeling, or doing something that is actually true of oneself.; Over planning.

Three of the nine Enneagram styles are called Head Centre styles – fives: Withdraw from fear of intrusion and loss of energy  by trying to depend solely on their own resources; gather abundant information to analyse for the purpose of understanding how everything works: sixes; Develop continuous anticipatory scenarios in order to overcome potential problems and reduce their fear that something could go wrong and /or headlong into fearful situations to prove their own courage:, and sevens; Move away from fear, sadness and discomfort by imagining positive futures possibilities and by generating exciting ideas rather that feeling fearful or uncomfortable.
  
       They engage in extensive mental analysis : Value facts, information, and ideas; and share a
       common concern about safety and trust response to the emotion associated with the Head
       Centre – fear, the imagining that something negative could happen.

1. Heart Centre Functions

Experience feeling: Emotional relating: Sensitivity to Others.

Productive Uses: Empathy; Authentic relating; Compassion
Unproductive Uses: Emotional manipulation, is using emotional information to get an individual to do something he or she might not otherwise agree to do: Playing roles: Oversensitivity.

Three of the nine Enneagram styles are called Heart Centre Styles – Twos; Create an image of being likable, generous, and concerned for other people then look to others for affirmation on their self-worth: Threes; Create an image of self-confidence and success, then seek the respect and admiration of others for what they accomplish:, and Fours; Crate an image of being unique, special and different, then use their emotional sensitivity to avoid feeling not good enough. They want others to respond to them in a specific ways and create and image to get the desired response. With a common focus on creating an image and being concerned about others perceive them, the Heart Centre Styles end up feeling not value who they really are, and this gives raise to the common associated with the Heart Centre – sorrow.

1. The Body Centre Functions

Individuals utilize the Body Centre in the following ways:
Movement: Physical sensations: Action or Interaction: Control
Productive Uses: Effective action; Steadfast; Gut knowing
Unproductive Uses: Excessive action; Passivity; Reactivity, is responding both immediately and hastily, without making a conscious choice to behave in this matter.

The Three Enneagram Body Centre Styles – Eights: Readily express anger starting from the gut, believing that anger is simply energy that needs release, exert control by taking charge:, Nines: Avoid both their own and other’s anger, seeking instead to mediate differences and create harmony. Do not let others control them;, and Ones: Manifest anger as irrational and resentment, believe anger is a negative emotion that must be kept under control by being self-controlled and highly structured. – Primarily trust their guts and instincts and have different ways for dealing with control that arises from the emotion associated with the Body Centre – anger.

Trust
Trust  is crucial to the success of the development experience, and trust-related issues need to be discussed at the earliest stages with individuals of all Enneagram styles.

• Maintain confidentiality agreements
• Possess impeccable integrity and not have side conversations with others.
• Be reliable in the relationship – be available for the other when needed.
• Honesty and Clarity
• Value and Prestige
• Core beliefs
• Emotional patterns
• Workplace behaviours
• Realization- the knowing that you aren’t always right
• Motivation – the impetus and inspiration for you
• Awareness – the objective understanding of your own reactions related  to you
• Choice – the decision to take responsibility for yourself and to commit to your own growth and development.
• Plan – the creation of a development plan
• Action – the ability to take constructive, sustained action ( complete this step one month after the plan has been implemented) and to adjust the plan as needed and required along the way.
• Being excellent for other as well as yourself
• Knowing how to accelerate growth
• Being able to create a productive relationship
• Knowing how to implement an effective development process
• Being able to align the coaching efforts with requirements
• Being able to achieve lasting results

Respond to the urgent issues

1. Listen attentively
2. Address immediate problems when possible, give advice carefully
3. Be calm, compassionate and clear

Deal with the Deeper Dynamics

1. Identify root causes
2. Deal with the deeper concerns
3. Provide relief and hope

Create a sustainable action plan

1. Crate a focused, concrete plan of action.
2. Design a support system
3. Refer to additional resources as required and needed.

Learning Styles
Auditory
Visual
Kinaesthetic

Data-feedback
Preliminary Discussion Items

1. Establish rapport
2. Review the initial goals and the data collection methodology
3. Reiterate the confidentiality Agreements
4. Ask about any concerns

Primary Discussions Items

1. Present data
2. Discuss the data and prioritize the most important issues
3. Discuss next steps

 

Here Now By Sonia F Stevens

When you are blinded and lost some ways.
When you barley make it through those days.
Your mind has been in the lonely places.
Remember me and allow me to set you free.
...

It will be alright allow me to be there for you.
I allow your head to rest on my shoulder.
As I will hold you and it is ok.
When all the walls tumble down.
Remember I am here for you.
I will take the pain for you.
Rest up and feel safe as I hold you
I wont allow anything to happen to you
Rest up and get some ground.
Your dreams are fallen down.
When life knocks you to the ground.
When your spirit is gone.
I am going to hold you
Your safe with me now
I am here for you, now.
Allow me to raise you up.
You are just weak at this time.
I wont let anything happen to you
As you see I am here for you now.
As long as I am able.
I will make your life a little stable.
Look into my eyes
I am here for you.
As I am not afraid of you.
There is not other important place to be,
Than to be here for you right now.
Copyright 2008 by Sonia F Stevens

 

Forgiveness tips to move past the situations...

We all get emotionally hurt from time to time.
Sometimes the pain can be intense and it creates feelings of anger, resentment and even hatred, especially if it comes from someone who is very important in our lives.
Our natural instinct is to protect ourselves and that’s what often causes the anger, the resentment and the hatred.

I wonder though, did you know the fastest way to move on from is forgiveness.

So – Here’s three tips to make forgiving easier:

1. Empathy: Recall a time when you made a silly mistake that really hurt someone that was close to you. Remember how much you wanted to take back what you’d done, and how important it was to receive forgiveness.

You don’t have to be happy about what they did, and you certainly should be clear about what they did wrong, but with all that said you can still forgive them. After all, that’s what you would want if you were in their place.

2. Self Love: When someone wrongs you in some way, there’s often an instant need to prove them wrong, and you right. It might well be the case that you are right and they are wrong, but the only persons who can decide and accept that is you.

Trying to prove the other person wrong is just another way of getting them to validate you.
Forget that idea, validate yourself, you don’t need anyone else’s opinion to let you know how wonderful you are.

As you get better at doing that, you’ll find less and less things make you upset or angry.

3. How long do you want to feel like Sh*t for?: Ultimately it’s your choice. You can feel angry and hurt about it for the rest of your life if you want, or you can forgive and begin the healing process.
Forgiving won’t instantly remove the hurt and pain, but it will remove it a lot faster than not forgiving.

Do what you have to do today so you can do what you want tomorrow. What you to really want is a life us that takes pride that you have lived, and that takes work. The only way that we can truly live, is to grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change.  The only way to change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way we can become exposed is if we are willing to place ourselves out there and work through life’s difficulties. By SFS (1992)